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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Backyard Activities for the Home Improvement Lover

When we think of backyard activities, sports often come to mind. While sports are a great way to spend your time outdoors, they are not all that backyard activities include. In fact, while you may not necessarily think so, backyard activities also involve the completion of projects. If you are a home improvement lover, it is quite possible that your next backyard activity could involve the building or the remodeling of a structure.

In the United States, backyards are filled with millions of different things. Many homeowners have pools, barns, work sheds, or garages. If you already have these items inside your yard, you may want to think about remodeling them. Remodeling projects are ideal for those who wish to update or expand their backyard structures. Summer is the perfect time to complete many remodeling projects, especially those that are outside.

While many homeowners make the decision to remodel, there are others that choose to build. If you don’t have a barn, garage, or work shed, but you would like to have one, now would be the perfect time to start construction. In most areas of the United States, summer has the prefect weather conditions for many backyard projects.

The first step in building or remodeling a backyard structure is to develop a plan. If you already know what you would like to build and how you would like to build it, you are well on your way to a completed project. However, if you are unsure what you would like to build or how to build it, you may want to think about doing a little bit of research before you start your next home improvement project.

Perhaps, the easiest way to get ideas or directions on how to build a garage, work shed, or barn is to visit your local library or book store. In these locations, you should be able to find a number of books that will not only offer you suggestions, but give you directions on how to get started. Libraries are nice; however, you will only be able to keep the materials for a short period of time. If you are interested in saving your resource guides for another project, you may want to consider purchasing your own books.

Once you have decided on a structural design, you will need to obtain the necessary building supplies. The supplies that you need will all depend on what you are building or remodeling. Despite the fact that different projects will require different supplies, there are some supplies that are common among all backyard building or remodeling projects. These supplies may include wood, metal, saws, and many other common household tools.

As previously mentioned, summer is ideal for most construction projects. Even though the weather will most likely be cooperative, it may still be a good idea to check your local weather forecast. If you are doing a project that requires perfect weather, such as roofing or painting, you will want to plan your project around the projected weather forecast. With projects that require more than one days worth of work, you may want to wait until the weather forecast predicts steady weather. This will prevent you from having to stop your building or remodeling and then startup again later.

Although building and remodeling projects are great backyard activities, not everyone is able to do them. If you are inexperienced in construction, you may find it difficult or impossible to do the work yourself. If this is the case, professional assistance may be just what you need. Completing your own home improvement projects will save you money, but only if you know what you are doing. Poor building or remodeling jobs may not only need additional, costly repairs, but they may also be unsafe.

With something as large and important as most home improvement projects, you are advised against taking any unnecessary chances or risks. Whether you make the decision to perform your own home improvement project or sit back and watch a professional do it, you will still be outside, enjoying everything that your backyard and the beautiful weather has to offer.

Divorce, find an apartment, and move on in life

Moving out and finding an apartment can be a good thing. It will start the divorce proceedings. However, if you have children, you do not want to move out. If you were to move out the other spouse may end up getting the children because the live in the home and it's a stable environment. Also, they may be given the home just for the fact that there are children and you have already made arrangements to live elsewhere's. However, if you move out you will have relief from the arguments and torture that many people take while trying to push a divorce through. If you would really like to keep the house, then you should stay until the judge has made his decision. At the temporary relief hearing, this is when you can make your plea to come back or make the other move out.
When you do move out and find an apartment you can look for apartments that are for those who are going through a divorce. They are usually very cheap and most people will keep to themselves. If you do move out and without the children than you should see them as much as you possible can arrange so that the judge will allow you to keep your visits. You may want to purchase an apartment that has plenty of room for the children and you may want to set up with rooms so that when they come to your place they can be entertained and comfortable.
When you move you, take everything that you would like with you. You should take any personal things like your clothes and jewelry. You should also inventory everything that you take so that it can't come back as stealing. If you take it out right away, the law will see it as yours. Depending on what it is and the value of it (money or personal) you may be able to keep it or you may have to be ordered to give it back. But, if you would like it, please take it with you, because you never know what they may do to your things. Also, don't be greedy; leave most of the furniture, unless it was in your den or private area. You should never clean the house out, regardless of who owned what. It will look bad in court, plus you don't want the children to be disrupted.
When you move out, don't go to the girlfriend/boyfriend's place. You want to show independence and it may be just what you need. If you cannot afford a place on your own, you should move in with a friend or family member. You should not' move back to the parents because you never know what dirt the lawyer can dig up about your family when it comes to custody of the children. Also, make sure that this other person would have no personal interaction with you so they can't say that you are dating each other. Moving in with a close friend or cousin will make the rent easier to be paid and you won't be completely alone. You will have someone to stay with that will support you.
Once you are settled in your new place you can gradually begin to build a new life. Go out, meet new people, have fun. Just don't do anything that would make you look bad if someone brought it up in court. This way you can move on with your life, but you don't mess up a good beginning. If there aren't children involved you may even want to move out of state if your family is located somewhere else. This way you can have family around you be able to move on.

Divorce, find a new job, and move on in life

There is a great life that lies head after divorce. You will be able to move on with your life. You can get up and move to a new place and start a completely new life. Some people will do just that. They will change jobs, they will refinance, and they will begin to date again. Just because the divorce is done and is final, this doesn't mean that you have gone through all the steps. You still have to pick up the pieces and try to move on. It's hard for many to move on because they have spent so much time with that person and it can be hard to break up someone who doesn't want to. There are a lot of feelings that you will go through, however you will find that there is a lot of hope that lies in the bounds of the aftermath.

After the divorce you have refinanced and everything is done and over. You don't have a mortgage, you may not have a car payment, you may not have anything to your name. This is a great opportunity to relocate. You don't have to go to another state, but even another county would be a huge change for you. You will have to find a way to get back in the game.

The first step to rebuilding after moving is to find a new job. You may want to find a job that allows you to work more because now you don't have to worry about sharing your time with your wife, or you may decide that you don't need a high paying job anymore because you don't the bills or family to support. You can adjust to your new living by going up or standing back from employment. You can purchase a new home and start there, or you can just not make any commitments and rent. Your like is completely up to you.

It may be a long way to come back once you have been knocked down by a divorce. You may have to start from nothing. You will have new views, new goals, a new life. You can leave everything behind or you can build yourself back up. Some people just find it easier to leave everything than truly deal with anything. It is a hassle to go through a divorce and the alimony can make you need to get another job. You will find that there are so many things in a divorce that can cause you to take up drinking, but then there are so many more things that you can do to make things better. You can make things better by going for an important job that you didn't want to take because of your family. You have nothing holding you back. You can re-do everything your way. You don't have to worry about pleasing anyone but yourself.

You are completely independent. That is one good thing about divorce. It can also be scary. If you feel like you can't stand on your own, you can ease your way into being independent. You can move in with some friends, you can take a less demanding job, you can purchase a lease for an apartment, whether than purchase a home. You don't have to make any commitments to anything. Once you feel like you can get back in the game you can begin to make commitments like buying a house, or asking someone on a date. It's a slow progression back.

Once you have relocated you can spend your time like you wish and you can change anything in your life. You should try to be independent because you will make the progression back quickly. You can be okay sooner than later.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

How to rebuild your life, find a new hobby

Moving on is very important when it comes to rebuilding your life after divorce. You will be out of it for a while, but you will find that you can rebuild yourself and learn from your mistakes. It is hard to part from someone who once was a part of who you where, but you will find that you can move on and find new things in your life to bring you joy and happiness. You can find a new hobby at your church, within your community, or within your home.

After you have allowed yourself to grieve, you will begin to want to find other things to fill your hours. If you are the type of person who like to be alone, you should find new things to learn that you can do by yourself. Take an art class at the local community college. Learn how to sculpt or do pottery. You can also learn how to write. You can write a story or article about your life to describe what you are going through. You may find that your hobby could turn into something that you can pursue as a career. You will be able to spend the hours productively than sitting in front of the TV eating ice cream.

Some women will take up a hobby that gets them back into interacting with others. You may want to join a local pool or bowling league. You may go to the community center and join a card game once a week. If you really want to get back into the interaction, you should take dance lessons. Learn how to ballroom or to do some jazz. Then you will be able to learn something and find something new to enjoy. You don't have to go alone, you can take a brother or cousin or dear friend to be your partner. It will be something new to experience. If dancing doesn't sound like a good hobby, you can take up a local job of something that you already know.

If you were really good at a sport, you may want to become an assistant coach or coach of a local high school team or college team. You can start up a new chapter of AYSO or some other thing. You can also do some community service to fill your hours. You can do things like feed the poor; raise money for your church or community, or other services that are needed.

Anything that you can shift your attention to will be a great thing. You will be able to let go of all the hurt and pain and focus on something positive. Even if you would like to increase your reading or do a 25,000-piece puzzle, do anything that will stimulate your mind and allow you to adjust your focus. When you find a hobby or something to focus your attention on you have less of a chance of focusing on the negative or starting bad habits like drinking or smoking. You will be able to find a positive release.

You can take many things, many classes, at local colleges that you can do with a friend. You can learn how to cook, paint, write, or anything else that will stimulate your creativity. Just remember that you need to find something that interests you and that is convenient. You can also find hobbies around the house too. You can go antiquing with a friend or you can remodel or redecorate the entire hours to your likening. Again, anything that will get you to focus on the positive outlooks on life.

Divorce - How to rebuild your life, don't avoid the holidays

Divorce is something that no one wants to do; however in some cases it is inevitable. This is something that sometimes has to happen so that a person can be happen and feel good about whom they are so that they can start living again. It is important for the two people that are going through the divorce to stay active with friends and family members and to not let it get them down.

The first holiday after your divorce can be the worst. This can be the most uncomfortable situation that you could ever be in. There are some things that you can do to help the holiday go a little bit better and may even help it to be a little easier to deal with the fact that things are no longer the same and that you will have to accept that fact.

No matter what holiday it is, you are going to see that things are different. You will not be the same team that you always were in the past and now you have to find a way to move on and have a great holiday regardless of this fact. You will want to make the experience as easy as you can on everyone including your friends, family and children if you have any.

You may want to consider changing a few things for your next holiday after the divorce. You may have to come with the determination that traditions must change and that you can get through them. You may have to work out arrangements for the children if any and make sure that they are taken care of at this difficult time. You want them to have the best holiday that they can even if it means that you must sacrifice some things.

You may want to find something else to do for your traditions on the holidays. You want to make them fun and entertaining as well as enjoyable and less painful for you and anyone else that is involved in the family function. You also need to make sure that you are taking time out for yourself. You need to keep your thoughts good so that you can stay focused on making this first year the best that you can for everyone.

You want to make sure that you have your own down time. If you feel like being sad or crying, you should be able to do that alone. You may need a few minutes of each day to get yourself composed and feeling better about the entire situation. You need to make sure that your mind is free from any distress when it comes time for the family gathering.

You may want to use some humor for the situation. You need to find the fun side in everything and this will include holidays after your divorce. You need to find ways to laugh even if they are stupid and childish. You want to keep a positive attitude for not only yourself, but also anyone else that may be affected.

Another good idea is to look ahead. You want to stay focused on the future. Remember the first holiday is the worst and things will only get better as time passes and you are able to accept the way that things are a little better. In time you will feel more relaxed and you will not remember this first holiday that made you so upset.

Divorce, how to deal with money issues

You need to find ways to save money during the divorce so you don't end up going into debt or needing a second job. When your marriage is over, the last thing on your mind should be your money, but it usually is. You have to learn ways to protect yourself so that you have money to live on through the divorce and after the divorce. You will find yourself angry and confused after you have announced your split, but you shouldn't feel overwhelmed about the money you may lose. Many people find out the hard way what divorce really means, and it usually means they leave you with half your stuff.

First, you should never get married without a prenup. If you don't have the prenup, you will be in so much water when the divorce comes. You don't need a prenup just if your rich, you need a prenup regardless off your assets. When it comes to your finances, why on earth take any chances of losing good, hard-earned money? Secondly, you need to know your finances throughout the marriage. You need to know where at least 80% of the money, if not all the money, goes.

You need to know your wealth. You wealth is your assets minus your debts. If you have $10,000 in the bank, and you have a total of $50,000 (which is a combination of credit cards, mortgages, car payments, and other things that you may owe on), then you have $40,000 worth of debt, you're wealth is nothing. However, if you own you own home and paid $40,000 for it, and have a couple thousand on credit and a couple grand left on a car payment, you have a lot of wealth that needs to be protected. Even if you have debt, you want to make sure that you don't get stuck with it by protecting yourself with a clause in your prenup.

As for refinancing during the divorce, anything that the other person wants, make sure you take your name off the deed. If your cars are in both names, get the name taken off just so if they fall behind in payments, you don't have to worry about your credit being ruined. Usually, the house has to be sold and divided so you shouldn't have to do anything about your name on the deed. However, they can buy you out and then you will need to get your name off the deed and the mortgage.

To really know your finances you should get your credit report. Many credit vendors like credit card companies and credit lenders will let you know what your credit is for free. However, there is a $15 fee to know if you get it from a credit report company. You should also open your own bank accounts and always keep your money separate. This way you know what is yours and what is theirs. You will also want to keep your credit cards separate as well. This way you can keep your debt separate too.

When going through the divorce you will want to think about cutting them off your health benefits at work. This way you can save money, plus get them off your benefits completely. You will want to change beneficiaries of any policies that you may have with your mate as the beneficiary. If you took his name, you can file paper work to regain your maiden name, however, it is costly; you may want to save this for later. You will also want to talk to your lawyer about the house. The house should, by rights, sell and the proceeds divided up.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Divorce - How to rebuild your life - counseling

Going through a divorce can be a hard time to go through. It may be difficult to find the right road and get back on track to a normal and healthy life. Sometimes people find that they are going through a messy divorce and it is hard for them to cope with the things that are gong on around them. When this is the case, it may be necessary for them to seek some form of counseling so that they can feel better emotionally and physically.

Taking the time to get better after a divorce is crucial. You have to be willing to make the most of your life and if that means that you need to seek the treatment from a professional, then that is what you have to do. You should not feel ashamed or embarrassed for this reason. You will want to make sure that you are getting the stability in life that you deserve so that you can find a way to make it through this somewhat difficult time in your life.

There are no guarantees that when you get married you will have a happy life. You are promised the world and sometimes you end up loosing some of it in the process. You can wind up sad and alone if your marriage does not make it. The divorce may or may not be your fault but either way; you need to find the inner strength to make it past the hard times.

Many people will find it hard to make it through all of the situations that come with divorce. They may find it hard to be around old friends, family members and even dealing with work can be a chore. You may not be able to find the ability to take on the challenges that you were once able to take care of no matter what. When this is something that you have to deal with, you may want to find a counselor to get you through the hard spots. You may be able to get some valuable information that will help you with your ordeal.

You can find many of the counselors in your area to help you with your problems. You may find that you can get a counselor through your church or local community organizations. A lot of times there are community workshops that are available for you to participate in so that you can get the help and the satisfaction that you need from a good source of support.

The team effort of support that you get from your family and friends will be a big help too. If you have some people to help you through the difficult times, you should take advantage of the support and love that they are willing to give you. This can be a huge help to you when you are going through this huge change in your life. You will have to learn to accept help where it is needed and be grateful for the angels in your life that are there to help you through it.

There is no reason to turn down counseling when it is offered to you. If you are in need of support, you should take it and be grateful for it. There are many people that are going through the same troubles and like everything, this time will eventually pass and everything will return to normal. You will not have anything to worry about when you know that you are supported and helped with the effort of a great method of counseling. You deserve to feel good again and this may be the one thing to help you.

Divorce - How to rebuild your life, color your hair and move on

Did you know that when you go through a life changing experience you are likely to go to the beauty salon before you do anything? Most women will actually seek a different hair style when something major happens in their life. You will want to quickly seek comfort for your divorce and then you have to stand on your own. You may want to go to the hair salon once you have made the announcement of the split and have faced the situation. Once you have recognized that you are going through a divorce you will need all the people who love you around so that you are able to get all the support that you need to help rebuild your life and move on.

The first step is to know who you can count on and who can't. This is when your real friends became noticeable. You need to have people who care to support your grieving and to help you find ways to move on. Most of your so-called friend will say everything will be fun, don't worry. When someone allows your feelings to be written off like that, they are not your friends at all. You will want to make sure that you understand the difference between real friends and people who claim to be your friend.

Once you have found the support and strength to move on, you will feel the need to make some drastic changes. You may want to change the color of your hair or you may just want to change your wardrobe or encourage a change in behavior. You should try things that you never would have gotten to do with your soon to be ex. You should also think about making changes about your appearance that they wouldn't necessarily encourage from you. You will want to do things like change your hair color, change your style of hair, or get an extreme haircut.

If you have never had short hair, you may want to try it. When you cut or when you dye your hair you will find empowerment. You will feel like you have control over yourself and your life. The truth of the matter is that you do have all the control. You have the right to change and you have the right to do whatever it is that you want or find that makes you happy. Before you allow yourself to fall in depression, you may want to start thinking about what has happen, what has changes, and what you would like to do as a result of.

Obviously, there were many factors that made you and your partner to split, but you don't have to be someone that you aren't. Over the years or course of your marriage, you probably gave up a lot. You most likely changed because they encourages you to become exactly what they wanted, but you are no longer in that relationship and you can begin to do the things that you love once again.

Any woman that can go through a divorce and survive it is a very strong person. Some women will collapse and fall into a deep depression. Go out and do everything for yourself. If you have always wanted to be a blonde, give it a shot. If you have ever wanted to cut your hair, go for it. Once you begin to do things that you normally wouldn't do you will find liberation. You will have liberation from all the chains of marriage. You will have the freedom to be yourself and show your new freedom in anyway that you would like.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Energy Healing 101: Pranic, Tantric, and Reiki

You have probably come across exotic-sounding terms such as “chakra”, “prana”, “aura”, and “tantra” in your course of reading books on spirituality, sex, and healing in the New Age literature section of the bookstore. But what’s the real scoop behind these exotic vocabularies?

Are All Energy Healings the Same?

Chakra or energy center is a term used in Pranic healing, an ancient Hindu system of energy healing. “Prana” means life energy. “Aura” is another terminology traced to Pranic healing. Aura is a non-physical body that consists of energy, which exists along with our physical body. The aura that covers our body is said to have seven layers pertaining to the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of an individual as manifested by energy. Studying the color and thickness of auras give ideas on the state of health of individuals. Six colors are associated with aura and interpreted into six personalities. These colors are all present in an individual but one or two are more pronounced.
Green – ambitious achiever
Blue – spiritual peacemaker
White – unconventional chameleon
Red – activist
Orange – creative communicator
Violet - psychic

Although Tantra is popularly associated with the peculiar practice of sex and spirituality, it is another method of energy healing. It comes from the word “tan” which means to spread or expand. The concept of connectedness is a recurring theme in Tantric writings on sex and spirituality. As a method of healing, spirituality and sex figure prominently. It is presupposed that the union of man and woman can reach spiritual levels during orgasm, which removes the body and mind off collected impurities. These impurities being negative energies can in turn manifest as physical illnesses.

Unlike Pranic and Tantric healings, which have Hindu origins, Reiki originated from Japan. It is relatively younger than Pranic and Tantric healings having been rediscovered in the early 1900’s. Reiki stands for universal energy, an energy brought forth by higher intelligence. Students of Reiki are taught how to tap this energy to heal physical, emotional, and mental illnesses.

Although Pranic, Tantra, and Reiki are all systems of energy healing, they differ in the type of energy tapped for healing: life energy, sexual energy, and universal energy respectively.

The concepts of the connectedness of mind, body, and spirit; the connection of individuals to all living and nonliving things around them and to the universe; and how energy impacts physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being are some of the salient similarities of these three healing methods.

Why Do People Turn to Energy Healing?

Pranic, Tantric, and Reiki are considered alternative methods of healing. In spite of the availability and relative accessibility of modern medicine, how come more and more people are being drawned to them? Here are some possible reasons:

· Energy healing worked where modern medicine failed.

For several reasons both explainable and unexplainable, modern medical treatment failed to heal ailments and conditions in several if not many persons. Research or data may not be able to support this statement. But for the families of the dying as well as for the dying patient, they would take the risk of using alternative methods ranging from herbals and organics, faith healers, witch doctors, and New Age healing techniques just to be get well.

· People perceive modern medicine to be isolating.

Medical treatments are oftentimes focused on the disease and its causative agent, which can make a patient feel isolated and treated like a mere host of the disease. Although recent developments in hospital practice are gradually promoting the holistic treatment of a patient, the perception still persists. Unlike in energy healing, since energy and spirituality are intimately linked, the patient feels that all aspects of his health are being attended to.


· Energy healing is non-obtrusive and natural thus it is safer.

Repeated surgical procedures are physically and emotionally traumatic for most patients. It is but a logical and attractive option to both patient and families to look for less stressful health interventions. Moreover, with the rising popularity of New Age religions, going natural is the way to go.


· Energy healing is a good way of relieving stress.

Meditation is part and parcel of energy healing methods and this is an added come-on for highly stressed people. Moreover, sophisticated equipment is not required thus it becomes all the more convenient for students and future students of energy healing.

The battle between alternative healing and mainstream medicine continues as both present the benefits of their approach. But in the final analysis, what matters is the restoration of good health.

Impossible is Just a Word

Everyone, at some point of his or her life, has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn't fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn't dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich, or successful, or happy with our relationships?

Often, we dream big dreams and have great aspirations. Unfortunately, our dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations easily collect dust in our attic.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much better, if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to setting goals is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking I can't do this. It's too hard. It's too impossible. No one can do this.

However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations, and no breakthroughs in human accomplishment.

Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumble, bee no one has told it so. So fly it does.

On the other hand, some people suffer from dreaming totally outrageous dreams and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams, and tattered aspirations.

If you limit yourself with self-doubt, and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without working towards your goal, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this exercise. Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, list down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do.’ And under one more, list the things that that are ‘impossible for you to do.’

Now look at all the headers strive every day to accomplish the goals that are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header-the one that reads ‘you might be able to do.’

As of the items you wrote under things I could do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do.’

As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. And the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

You see, the technique here is not to limit your imagination. It is to aim high, and start working towards that goal little by little. However, it also is unwise to set a goal that is truly unrealistic.

Those who just dream towards a goal without working hard end up disappointed and disillusioned.

On the other hand, if you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to be on the moon, they would laugh at you. If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But, through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now realities.

Thomas Edison once said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Nothing could be truer. For one to accomplish his or her dreams, there has to be had work and discipline. But take note that that 1% has to be a think-big dream, and not some easily accomplished one.

Ask any gym rat and he or she will tell you that there can be no gains unless you are put out of your comfort zone. Remember the saying, “No pain, no gain”? That is as true as it can be.

So dream on, friend! Don’t get caught up with your perceived limitations. Think big and work hard to attain those dreams. As you step up the ladder of progress, you will just about find out that the impossible has just become a little bit more possible.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Road to Intuition

Have you had that experience when all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and to your surprise, that intuition was eventually translated to reality?

When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.

Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."

On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.

Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is? First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.

With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis

Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.

2. Meditation

Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.

3. Think positive!

A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4. Just let go.

What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.

5. Never expect.

After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.

6. Believe in your first impressions.

When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.

7. Stay happy!

See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.

Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.

Why Coaching is the Way to Go in Team Management

When you hear the word “coach”, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a basketball team with a man/woman shouting out directions? Or perhaps a football team with a man/woman pacing to and fro and calling out the names of the players?

Coaching is no longer reserved to sports teams; it is now one of the key concepts in leadership and management. Why is coaching popular?

Coaching levels the playing field.

Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. Moreover, it is a behavior or role that leaders enforce in the context of situational leadership. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization. This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work together. In a group of individuals, not everyone may have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to a goal. A group may be a mix of highly competent and moderately competent members with varying levels of commitment. These differences can cause friction among the members. The coaching leader helps the members level their expectations. Also, the coaching leader manages differing perspectives so that the common goal succeeds over personal goals and interests. In a big organization, leaders need to align the staffs’ personal values and goals with that of the organization so that long-term directions can be pursued.

Coaching builds up confidence and competence.

Individual coaching is an example of situational leadership at work. It aims to mentor one-on-one building up the confidence of members by affirming good performance during regular feedbacks; and increase competence by helping the member assess his/her strengths and weaknesses towards career planning and professional development. Depending on the individual’s level of competence and commitment, a leader may exercise more coaching behavior for the less-experienced members. Usually, this happens in the case of new staffs. The direct supervisor gives more defined tasks and holds regular feedbacks for the new staff, and gradually lessens the amount of coaching, directing, and supporting roles to favor delegating as competence and confidence increase.

Coaching promotes individual and team excellence.

Excellence is a product of habitual good practice. The regularity of meetings and constructive feedback is important in establishing habits. Members catch the habit of constantly assessing themselves for their strengths and areas for improvement that they themselves perceive what knowledge, skills, and attitudes they need to acquire to attain team goals. In the process, they attain individually excellence as well. An example is in the case of a musical orchestra: each member plays a different instrument. In order to achieve harmony of music from the different instrument, members will polish their part in the piece, aside from practicing as an ensemble. Consequently, they improve individually as an instrument player.

Coaching develops high commitment to common goals.

A coaching leader balances the attainment of immediate targets with long-term goals towards the vision of an organization. As mentioned earlier, with the alignment of personal goals with organizational or team goals, personal interests are kept in check. By constantly communicating the vision through formal and informal conversations, the members are inspired and motivated. Setting short-term team goals aligned with organizational goals; and making an action plan to attain these goals can help sustain the increased motivation and commitment to common goals of the members.

Coaching produces valuable leaders.

Leadership by example is important in coaching. A coaching leader loses credibility when he/she cannot practice what he/she preaches. This means that a coaching leader should be well organized, highly competent is his/her field, communicates openly and encourages feedback, and has a clear idea of the organization’s vision-mission-goals. By vicarious and purposive learning, members catch the same good practices and attitudes from the coaching leader, turning them into coaching leaders themselves. If a member experiences good coaching, he/she is most likely to do the same things when entrusted with formal leadership roles.

Some words of caution though: coaching is just one of the styles of leadership. It can be done in combination with the other five emotional leadership styles depending on the profile of the emerging team. Moreover, coaching as a leadership style requires that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally fit most of the time since it involves two levels of coaching: individual and team. Your members expect you to be the last one to give up or bail out in any situation especially during times of crises. A coaching leader must be conscious that coaching entails investing time on each individual, and on the whole team. Moreover, that the responsibilities are greater since while you are coaching members, you are also developing future coaches as well.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Divorce - How to rebuild your life - the bills you need to think about

Getting divorced means that you will have a lot of lose ends to tie up. You will want to make sure that you are ready and willing to make all of the appropriate arrangements that you have to so that you can get started with your new life. You want to make sure that you are getting on with rebuilding your life and making your own life better and happier as well.
You want to have all of your bills in order when you are going through a divorce. You need to make sure that you are thinking about all the bills that you have and that you are keeping them straight. It is important to have these bills paid so that you can keep your credit and good name after the divorce. You do not want to start out your new life with bad credit because this will only make things more difficult later on.
You will want to think about the bills that you have together with your ex. These bills have to be arranged for payment. You need to figure out how you are going to handle them so that you are getting them sorted out before you go your separate ways. Sometimes these bills are sorted through before the attorney and the judge settle the divorce.
Getting through a lot of the hassle of figuring out the bills is something that you have to do. You must make sure that you are protecting yourself so that you are able to be financially ready to take on the role of supporting yourself and making your new life better. This is something that you must do for your own protection. You are on your own now and need to watch out for yourself.
There will be other issues to think about like the house payment and the car payments. You will want to discuss this with your ex partner so that you can get these things figured out and settled for when the divorce takes place. Other payments will include things like the car insurance, health insurance, life insurance and any 401K plans that you may have in place. This is something that you must be thinking about when you are going through the life changing experience of divorce.
Of course the one thing that you must think about is what you can now afford and what you cannot. You need to think about the things that you can take on and what you are gong to have to have to make ends meet once you are divorced. There are many issues that you to have to address so that you are able to survive on the income that you have coming in. If you have to make sacrifices for a little while then that is what you have to do.
You may also have to pay your attorney fees. Some times when you are in a divorce you may find it to be necessary to hire an attorney. This is the best way for some couples to get their point across a little bit easier. You will want to start make payments as soon as possible. This will allow you more time to get your debt paid off so that you are free and clear of any bills from your divorce.
Your bills are going to accumulate and you want to be aware that you can get into debt fast when you are someone that has gone through a divorce. You will want to make sure that you are careful so that you are not putting more strain on your finances that what you need to have. This is all part of rebuilding your life once you are divorced and improving your entire life and well-being.

Divorce, rebuilding your life, avoid sex with the ex

Divorce is something that no one wants to face. It is a hard situation that many people have to find the strength to get through. Sometimes there are hard feelings between the two couples and sometimes the couple will still get along very well. It is hard to tell what is going to happen and sometimes you just have to see how it goes. The ball is in your court and you need to make the best choices that you can.

One thing is for sure; once you are divorced, you do not need to be having an intimate with your ex. This is not something that is wise because of the issues that will come along with it. You want to break your ties so that you are free and able to move on easily to better and bigger things.

You will want to remain friendly with your ex. This is for obvious reasons. When things go a lot smoother, you will find it to be a lot easier to get things accomplished. You really can kill them with kindness however you do not want to be so kind that you are jeopardizing your health and well being for any reason. You do not want to get involved with the complicity of having sex with your ex when you are trying to rebuild your life and make something better for your future.

When you are trying to rebuild your life, you want to do the right things. You need to make the right choices for you and you family so that you are not putting anyone's well being at risk. This will also include your ex. When you are still carrying on an intimate relationship with your ex partner, you will find that you may be setting either one of you up for a very big fall. This is not something that you should be doing at this stage of the game.

A divorce is something that can be very complicated and when you are combining sex with your ex, you are only making the situation more complicated. You need to make sure that you are severing these ties and making it very clear that you are not interested in this part of your life anymore. You need to of course make sure of this before you file for divorce but having a physical relationship is not the only thing that matters with a marriage. You need to have all the factors there so that you can have a successful relationship that works for both of you.

There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You do not want to have to deal with too much when you already have so much on your plate. You want to be careful and make the wise decisions that you know you can make. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life.

There is so much life out there and when you are divorced, you are able to take it all on. You should not be holding on to the past even if it is comforting at the time. You want to get out there are find out who you are and what your goals and dreams are in life. This is the only way that you can make your new life a huge success. This is going to be worth the self-control that you have when it comes to refraining from having sex with your ex.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Divorce - How to rebuild your life - all about the utilities

When you are going through a divorce, there are a lot of preparations you have to do. You will want to make sure that you are hitting on all of the things that you need to so that you are not missing anything. You will want to make a list of the items that you have to do so that you can have it done and ready with no problems. This will help you in the rebuilding of your new life after divorce.
You will find that you will have to start over to put it plainly when you are divorced. You will have to start out on your own again and learn how to do things on your own. You will have to take care of your home and all the things that go along with having your own home. It is a very long process but one that will make you feels good when you have it all accomplished.
There are many utilities that you will have to get put into your name once you are divorced. You will have to make sure that you are starting your own form of credit so that you are established and ready to have these things put into your name. Sometimes utility companies will not issue you credit with out you first having some sort of credit already established. You will have to figure out the best way to do this.
You will want to make sure that you are separating all of the accounts that were once in both names. You need to do this as soon as possible to avoid any type of complication later on down the road. You need to then start building up your credit so that you can start your own good name going. Having utilities is a big and important step to rebuilding your life and getting back on track.
The main companies that you need to make sure you call are the electric, water, garbage, phone and car insurance companies. You will want to make sure that you are contacting these agencies at once. This is going to make it easier for you to get things started soon and a lot easier. This is a great start to getting your own name rebuilt so that you are happy and able to enjoy life to the fullest.
The one thing that you need to also be making sure that the past balances are paid off. You may have to do this first before you decide to switch them into your name if you are staying in the same location where you and your spouse lived. This is going to be important because if you have bills from when the other person lived at the location, you may be entitled a reimbursement for this money. You will have to discuss this with your attorney and spouse and see how it all works out.
When you are making the switch for all of the utilities you will want to make sure that you are paying the bills on time. This will be better for you when it comes time to get credit for other things. You will want to make sure that you are on time and paying the balance off as much as you can. This will help you get your life rebuilt and back on the right track where you belong. There is nothing wrong with wanting to do better for yourself and with the right help and a little determination you can do it. You will see that you will have a better life and be happier once you get out there on your own and surviving!

Divorce - How to rebuild your life - about the house in your name

Usually in a divorce, the couple that is divorcing needs to make the decision about who is going to keep the house. They need to work this out on their own or make sure that the courts address it. You have to make the decision about what will be done with the property. There are many different options and it is important to make sure that the decision is best for everyone involved.
In a divorce it is usually determined what is going to be done with the house. You can either sell it and split the profits between the two people that are getting divorced if they own it, one person can offer to let the other one have it, or the other party will buy out the ex spouse. It will depend on how the divorce is settled to determine this decision. It is always better when things are worked out easily, but sometimes this is not possible and the couple will have to seek the help from an attorney or court system.
If you are the one that is ready to take on the challenge of keeping the home, you will want to make sure of a few things first. You will want to be certain that you can take on the mortgage payments. You will have to decide if this is a payment that you can afford each month. You must make sure that you have thought about your income now that you are divorced and what you will be able to afford.
You will also want to think about the fact if you really do want the house or not. You have to want the house because it is where you want to stay and not just be the winner of the house to spite the other person. You have to get through these feelings and then determine if this is where you want to stay and rebuild your life after the divorce.
Sometimes it is better for the couples to decide if they should sell the house or not. It is important to think about the financial security that you have in time and think about what you can afford to loose and gain in the situation. Do you really want to start your new life over in a house that you once shared with your ex? Is this the house that you grew up in and want to keep it for sentimental value, or do you want to make sure that your children are raised in the home that they know and love? These are a few of things that sometimes people need to think about and have the right answers for when it comes time to decide what to do with the house.
If you are the one to be leaving the house after a divorce, you will want to see how it will affect your credit. If your name is on the mortgage to the house, and your ex spouse does not pay, you will be responsible for the loan and your credit may suffer because of it. The lender wants their money no matter if you are living in the home or not. If you own money on the home it may also make it hard for you to go out and purchase your own home later on because of the outstanding balance on this one.
It will be important for you to either make arrangements with the ex that they are going to be faithful in paying the mortgage or have this documented in the divorce or you may just want to have them get your name off of the mortgage. This may require them to refinance the home in their name only so that you are not longer financially linked to the home. This is something that you will have to think about and make sure that you have everything set before the divorce is final. You want to protect yourself as well as keep things settled and peaceful with your ex.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

What Innovation Can Do to Your Life

It's a talent that everyone has, yet they think they don't. The power of innovation. If you've ever marvelled at somebody's creative prowess, guess what, you can create and innovate too. It just takes time. Everyone is born creative. The box of crayons in kindergarten were not limited to those who possessed potential; because the truth is, everybody has potential.

You know how long it took to learn to ride a bike or drive or to never commit the same mistake again? It's the same with innovation. It takes a bit of practice and a lot of time before this mind function comes easily when called. This article will teach you a few tips on how to bring innovation into your life.

Don't listen to what other people say. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don't waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won't. And the help you will probably get comes in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.

Spend time on it. I cannot stress that enough, although, please do not mistake this tip to tell you to quit your day job entirely. Do not. This involves some tricky time management but with a little discipline you'll be able to squeeze both in.

Exercise. Take a walk. Run a mile or two. Send all those endorphins coursing through your veins. Exercising certainly clears and relaxes your mind and allows for anything to pop up.

Record your dreams. Aren't some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you've had these dreams before, and I'm sure have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. So jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.

Find your own style. You can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. You'll know Hemingway wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.

Don't hide behind nifty gadgets or tools. You don't need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don't need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter Series on bits of tissue. So what if you've got an expensive SLR camera if you're a crappy photographer? Who cares if you've got a blinging laptop if you can't write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft: he knows what works and what doesn't.

Nothing will work without passion. What wakes you up in the mornings? What keeps the flame burning? What is the one thing that you'll die if you don't do? Sometimes people with talent are overtaken by the people who want it more. Think the hare and the tortoise. Ellen Degeneres once said that if you're not doing something that you want to do, then you don't really want to do it. And that's true. Sometimes you just want something so bad you become a virtual unstoppable. And that is passion. Passion will keep you going.

Don't worry about inspiration. You can't force it; inspiration hits when you least expect it to, for those unpredictable yet inevitable moments you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas, you poor unfortunate soul; you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and paper within your arm's reach at all times.

I hope this article has helped you bring more innovation into your life. Keep in mind that you're doing these things for your own satisfaction and not anybody else's. But soon enough they will notice, and everything should snowball from there.

Happy as You Want to Be

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Saturday, November 22, 2008

"Who's the Boss?" 10 ways to start taking control (time management, goal setting, record tracking)

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs"
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin', Touchin' & Squeezin' (Your Friends and Family)
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented, it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

When it comes to the corporate world, protocol is pretty much the religion. To know the things needed to do are the basics of productivity, but interaction and having a steady mind makes up the entire thing to true productivity. There are those who seem to work well even under pressure, but they're uncommon ones and we are human and imperfect. To get these little things like stress under our skins won't solve our problems. Sometimes it takes a bit of courage to admit that we're turning to be workaholics than tell ourselves that we're not doing our best.

"A Piece of Blarney Stone" 10 ways to empower your communication

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone, or actually part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland where it was believed that kissing the stone can grant you the gift of gab. Yeah, it seems strange in this day and age, but who are we to question tradition? It's not like I'm saying that Santa Claus doesn't exist (OOPS!).

There is so much to know about conversation that anyone, even I, could ever realize. You can go though watching talk shows; radio programs; clubs dedicated to public speaking; ordinary conversations; certain rules still apply when it comes to interaction through words. It may sound tedious, I know, but even though it's your mouth that's doing the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out a lot of things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communication is to know the very person closest to you: yourself.

1. What you know.
Education is all about learning the basics, but to be an effective speaker is to practice what you've learned. My stint as guest at every Toastmasters' meeting I go to taught me that we all have our limitations, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to keep up and share what we know.

2. Listening.
It's just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach us to be a little bit confident with ourselves and to say the things we believe in with conviction.

3. Humility
We all make mistakes, and sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter, and probably mispronounce certain words even though we know what it means, but rarely use it only to impress listeners. So in a group, don't be afraid to ask if you're saying the right word properly and if they're unsure about it then make a joke out of it. I promise you it'll make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.

4. Eye Contact
There's a lot to say when it comes to directing your attention to your audience with an eye-catching gaze. It's important that you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering, even though he or she may be gorgeous.

5. Kidding around
A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift the tension, or worse boredom when making your speech. That way, you'll get the attention of the majority of the crowd and they'll feel that you're just as approachable, and as human to those who listen.

6. Be like the rest of them
Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You'll get a lot of ideas, as well as knowing what people make them as they are.

7. Me, Myself, and I
Admit it, there are times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do! Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice your speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you're at it you can spruce up as well.

8. With a smile
A smile says it all much like eye contact. There's no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering, unless it's a wake. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.

9. A Role Model
There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they're at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they read their lines, but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.

10. Preparation
Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while other resort to being a little more silly as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand (not for clammy hands, please). Just be comfortable with what you know since you enjoy your work.

And that about wraps it up. These suggestions are rather amateurish in edgewise, but I've learned to empower myself when it comes to public or private speaking and it never hurts to be with people to listen how they make conversations and meetings far more enjoyable as well as educational.

Friday, November 21, 2008

"What Really Makes You Tick?" 10 questions you should ask to yourself: a preparation to self-improvement

Be all you can be, but it's not always in the Army. I often see myself as somewhat contented with my life the way things are, but of course it's hard to think of anything else when where are real issues to be discussed.

Still I aspire for something deeper and more meaningful.

So we're all pelted with problems. Honestly it shouldn't even bother or even hinder us to becoming all we ought to be. Aspirations as kids should continue to live within us, even though it would be short-lived or as long as we could hold on to the dream. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks… or can they?

1. What do I really want?
The question of the ages. So many things you want to do with your life and so little time to even go about during the day.

Find something that you are good at can help realize that small step towards improvement. Diligence is the key to know that it is worth it.

2. Should I really change?
Today's generation has taken another level of redefining 'self', or at least that's what the kids are saying. Having an army of teenage nieces and nephews has taught me that there are far worse things that they could have had than acne or maybe even promiscuity. So how does that fit into your lifestyle?

If history has taught us one thing, it's the life that we have gone through. Try to see if partying Seventies style wouldn't appeal to the younger generation, but dancing is part of partying. Watch them applaud after showing them how to really dance than break their bones in break-dancing.

3. What's the bright side in all of this?
With so much is happening around us there seem to be no room for even considering that light at the end of the tunnel. We can still see it as something positive without undergoing so much scrutiny. And if it's a train at the end of the tunnel, take it for a ride and see what makes the world go round!

4. Am I comfortable with what I'm doing?
There's always the easy way and the right way when it comes to deciding what goes with which shoes, or purse, shirt and whatnot. It doesn't take a genius to see yourself as someone unique, or else we'll all be equally the same in everything we do. Variety brings in very interesting and exciting questions to be experimented.

5. Have I done enough for myself?
Have you, or is there something more you want to do? Discontentment in every aspect can be dangerous in large doses, but in small amounts you'll be able to see and do stuff you could never imagine doing.

6. Am I happy at where I am today?
It's an unfair question so let it be an answer! You love being a good and loving mom or dad to your kids, then take it up a notch! Your kids will love you forever. The same goes with everyday life!

7. Am I appealing to the opposite sex?
So maybe I don't have an answer to that, but that doesn't mean I can't try it, though. Whether you shape-up, change the way you wear your clothes or hair, or even your attitude towards people, you should always remember it will always be for your own benefit.

8. How much could I have?
I suppose in this case there is no such things on having things too much or too little, but it's more on how badly you really need it. I'd like to have lots of money, no denying that, but the question is that how much are you willing to work for it?

9. What motivates me?
What motivates you? It's an answer you have to find out for yourself. There are so many things that can make everyone happy, but to choose one of the may be the hardest part. It's not like you can't have one serving of your favorite food in a buffet and that's it. Just try it piece by piece.

10. What Really Makes You Tick?
So? What really makes you tick? You can be just about anything you always wanted to be, but to realize that attaining something that may seem very difficult is already giving up before you even start that journey. Always remember, that self-improvement is not just about the physical or philosophical change you have to undergo, but it's something that you really want.

"Life With Woody" 10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.

Just don't ask how it happened, please.

But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

Ciao!

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